thanks for making me happy

the worst thing happened yesterday. i never taught that it'll happen but somehow it did. i dunno how i really feel. am i sad or happy? i cried but i think i don't feel a thing. i feel numb. i couldn't think straight last night. it was my fault for bringing it up. it was my fault for saying it. i'm sorry my dear. i am truly deeply sorry. i know that it's not supposed to happen this way. i'm really sorry. i love you. will always do but now, i can only love you as a friend. those 8 beautiful months that we've spent means a lot to me. i know that we fought all the time but i will never forget it. i'll always remember what you've said to me, what you called me, the way you say my name, what you always do to make me happy when i'm not, how u melted my heart when it was hard as a rock. i will always remember you.

i know that you really hate me right now but please forgive me. i know it has always been my fault. i'm sorry. i'm sorry that we fought. i'm sorry that i lied. i'm sorry that i made you do everything my way when you don't want to. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.

thank you for giving me all the love that you have in your heart. thank you for making me happy. thank you for letting me to fall in love with you even just for a while. thank you for all the gifts that you gave me. thank you for the time & energy that you've poured to me. thank you for the kisses & hugs that you gave me. thank you for being you. thank you for being a very understanding person. thank you for giving me strength.

definitely gonna miss you when i can't text you when i feel like i want to, i can't call you when i miss hearing your voice, i can't say that i love you anymore when there's just so much love for you in my heart, i can't tell my friends that my bf is doing just fine. the worst part of it is that i won't know a thing about you anymore & i hate that!

i'm gonna miss talking to you every night. i'm gonna miss hearing your voice. i'm gonna miss looking into your eyes. i'm gonna miss fighting for nothing with you. i'm gonna miss holding hands with you (i feel like that's the sweetest way for saying that you'll take care of me). i'm gonna miss going out to dinner with you. i'm gonna miss telling you that i'm fat & you'll say that you'll still love me even when i'm fat like an elephant. i'm gonna miss playing with your arm. i'm gonna miss calling you sayang. i'm gonna miss hearing you calling me baby. i'm gonna miss talking to you about our dreams.. what car you're giving me, how many kids we want. i know it's lame but i'm gonna miss that. i'm gonna miss everything about you & everything that we do.

"I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry."
-but its ok if you wanna let me go. i know how i've been to you